YELLOW BELLS

 

The Yellow bells

The viscid herb

Inhabiting the arid places

With its sticky leaves

And pendulous bell like

Yellow flowers

Blooming in the desert

Of the south-western states

WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE FAT FINGERS

 

Why do Gorillas have fat fingers?

Is one question that still lingers

But clearly the obvious conclusion

Is large nostrils are the reason

THE GIANT ATTRACTION

 

In captivity Panda’s suffer

Great indignity

They’re sexual failures

On display for all to see

THE WILDLIFE DOWN UNDER

 

The wildlife down under

Includes the Wallabies

But if truth be known they’re

Just Kangaroo Wannabies

THIS TALK OF CULLING BADGERS

 

This talk of culling badgers

Is completely unsound

If we keep discussing it

We’ll drive them underground

PANDERING

 

The Giant Panda

To some extent

Is the architect

Of its predicament

Its choice of habitat

And fussy diet

Contributes greatly

To its demise, I regret

THE GIANT ATTRACTION

 

In captivity Panda’s suffer

Great indignity

They’re sexual failures

On display for all to see

BEAR NECESSITIES

 

When in the North America forests

On holiday

Carry with you a whistle

And a can of pepper spray

Because you might meet a bear

 

A small bear eats mainly fruit

And the occasional squirrel

And can be easily scared away

With a sharp blast on your whistle

That’s how to deal with a small bear

 

A large bear won’t be frightened away

By a blast of your whistle

But a squirt of your pepper spray

Will do the trick not a lot just a little

That’s how to deal with a large bear

 

You can check if bears are in the area

By examining their droppings

If it smells of fruit

And contains squirrel fur

Then it was deposited by a small bear

 

However, if the more dangerous large bear

Left its deposit along the way

It will probably contain a whistle

And it will smell of pepper spray

JIMBO

 

I got a new dog from Battersea

And I have called him Jimbo

I now take him to obedience classes

Where they walk us to and fro

 

But when he should be at heel

Jimbo almost always runs away

And then he comes bounding back

When he is supposed to sit and stay

 

Then when he’s walking on the lead

I have to pull young Jimbo back

Or he’s round and round my feet

Until I end up lying on my back

 

We’ve stopped going to the classes

And I have a stick for him to chase

I can forgive my Jimbo anything

When he jumps up to lick my face

PANDERING

 

The Giant Panda

To some extent

Is the architect

Of its predicament

Its choice of habitat

And fussy diet

Contributes greatly

To its demise, I regret

JIMBO

 

I got a new dog from Battersea

And I have called him Jimbo

I now take him to obedience classes

Where they walk us to and fro

 

But when he should be at heel

Jimbo almost always runs away

And then he comes bounding back

When he is supposed to sit and stay

 

Then when he’s walking on the lead

I have to pull young Jimbo back

Or he’s round and round my feet

Until I end up lying on my back

 

We’ve stopped going to the classes

And I have a stick for him to chase

I can forgive my Jimbo anything

When he jumps up to lick my face

BEAR NECESSITIES

 

When in the North America forests

On holiday

Carry with you a whistle

And a can of pepper spray

Because you might meet a bear

 

A small bear eats mainly fruit

And the occasional squirrel

And can be easily scared away

With a sharp blast on your whistle

That’s how to deal with a small bear

 

A large bear won’t be frightened away

By a blast of your whistle

But a squirt of your pepper spray

Will do the trick not a lot just a little

That’s how to deal with a large bear

 

You can check if bears are in the area

By examining their droppings

If it smells of fruit

And contains squirrel fur

Then it was deposited by a small bear

 

However, if the more dangerous large bear

Left its deposit along the way

It will probably contain a whistle

And it will smell of pepper spray